A friend of mine

It is with a heavy heart that I’m writing this post to cheer on a friend who has been fighting her own battle. I’m feeling terribly sad and disturbed knowing her condition which has got worse recently. 

She was my counterpart when we were both senior assistant directors. Although she left mof and we hardly meet, our friendship grows that we always share pics and keep each other updated. 

No words can describe the pain and misery she is going through right now. I hope she could have more patience and courage to face this challenging time. Also, pls keep her in your prayers, hoping for her to recover soon and be happy.

post holiday

Despite we just got back from a holiday in Bali, the past two weeks have been really tough for us that mil got admitted to hospital before we flew off. Mr hubby is always the one juggling between work and food delivery for the mum whenever she is here. A day after we reached home, she got discharged and was good to go home. But things didn’t get any better. She got really ill that hubby was in a melancholic mood, who has been worried about his dear mother. Today, she seems to get better and positive that she is determined to get up and walk on her own. We hope she will stay positive to soldier on this battle. Even it’s school holiday now, which I promised the kids to take them out because it’s THEIR holiday, we have been really busy with unexpected events. The kids have been talking about swimming pool everyday after we came back from Bali so I thought of taking them to Sunway Lagoon again tomorrow. Let's hope we can make it.

Wrapping up 2017

As usual, 2017 has its fair share of ups and downs. So many new lives come into this big family, that just shows how blessed we are to see the family grow bigger and bigger. I'm wishing everyone around me with inner peace in their minds. That's truly what I have been praying every night before I sleep, besides good health. Self-contentment is an important element that we thank the universe for everyone in the family in the pink of health. Life serves us many things- happy and unhappy moments. But we'd just gotta remain positive- roof above our head, food on the table and many more, we just have to keep ourselves away from negative vibes and love comes in naturally.

On my part, I finally broke through myself to sign up a swimming lesson. My skills are not perfect, it takes a lot of practice but I just did it!!! Hubby went for a swim when we were away. He said it would be my turn when I came back. So I went for it with two boys and it was really really good and refreshing! And I did it again during the long Friday lunch break last week. I just told myself that I should do this again for a better health for myself!

My mil's condition, on the other hand, is getting better. She had been complaining pain most of the times and now we feel her pain management has improved a lot. This is a long battle that it takes so much courage and patience to fight. Hubby has been the one who gives her attention, care and patience.

2018 should be a greater year ahead, a year older and wiser! Xuan is gonna start his P1 and we look forward to it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Xuan organized a party last week to celebrate new year and the father got them a new year gift!

New year resolutions

I have skipped quite many swimming lessons after I have mastered the basic. I think I only need to practice more. Recently I have the thought to subscribe myself to a yoga class. I'm serious about this and I'm thinking to go for it after XY turns 2. It's amazing that even I myself can't believe I have a thought as such. But to make it really happen, I must pen this down so that I will keep my promise in future. Perhaps it's not a yoga class, but I want to be fit and active. I probably need to go to the gym.

Ulcers

Mouth ulcers and I are quite inseparable. Many years ago, I had it a lot in my mouth. It became recurrent. Then I literally had no ulcers at all throughout my first pregnancy, which prompted me to think that I'm probably having some mineral or vitamin deficiency. This week I have a few ulcers popping out and I was just as curious whether it's stress or body heat. My water intake is quite a lot daily that hubby doesn't call me a camel anymore! Anyway I went for steamboat last Friday and my mind obviously didn't work faster than my appetite, so I drank the piping hot soup and burnt my mouth and throat. Hoping for its quick recovery!

Visiting my ex-boss

Yesterday, I paid my last visit to the late wife of an ex-boss who lost the battle against cancer. It had been exactly 3 years that she was fighting the battle with the family. My boss, a very kind soul, has nevertheless been a very supportive hubby and father. He has been the chef in the family since they got married. I must say men nowadays are very hands-on because they babysit the children and do house chores. While it is very disheartening to learn about the sad news, my boss got retired in October last year, it is, perhaps, also a relief for the family that she no longer had to suffer the pain. My boss, instead, asked why we looked so gloomy. Words fall short of sorrow it is for the family to lose their loved one, I'm mourning the pain with them.

Praying for baby Andrew

I'm deeply saddened and disturbed by the news of my old friend's nephew who is just 6mo and suffering from brain tumour. Please keep baby Andrew in your prayers and a speedy recovery for him after the surgery this morning. May everthing go well.

Be healthy, would you?

Ramadhan is coming to an end. So is my healthy diet literally. I have been bringing breakfast from home everyday, although it's not homemade, I think it's quite healthy because I have it with fruits such as dates and avocado. Then I make myself protein drinks since my mil has been nagging that it's left untouched at the kitchen. Not only that, she was also making noise that the honey seemed unconsumed most of the times. So trying to be health-conscious, I fed the kids honey. After one bottle finished, she brought another one. It was Manuka Honey my sil got from New Zealand, Cheng loves it so much. Then few weeks ago, the honey finished. I bought one that's locally produced, so to speak. My kids do not really like it as the texture is quite runny. But what perplexed me was, it attracts a lot of ants the next day after I opened the bottle. I just wonder if the honey is pure. The Manukas we have in the past have been sitting at the kitchen so long and nothing happened. Hubby said we should just stick to Manuka Honey all the times.

Then since I have been craving for some delicious aglio olio which I have yet to find, my sis decided to dish it up for me. It was really nice as the prawns were generous of its portion and the pasta was to my liking. The only drawback is that, I feel guilty after the meals due to the amount of prawns I have. I have had a lot of seafood throughout my life, but I have no idea since when I became so conscious about the seafood intake. I miss crabs and fresh oysters so much but I just have to hold on to it because it's just food, so I humbly and constantly remind myself. 

Now talk about the junks such as chips, mamee and coke. Going to my bro's place is so heaven, the junks is always stocked up and will not run out of its stock. I can't help but munching on it. Xuan even asked me, why can't we buy those and keep at home? 

Now tell me about healthy diet. 

Long battle

It has been 2 years since my mil was diagnosed with cancer. I remember it was a long weekend due to Vesak Day so we went back to Kelantan. My mil who was helping us to look after the kiddos went back to Melaka and decided to have her check up. We got a shock in our life upon knowing the results. It is no doubt a long journey for everyone of us: firstly, the stage to accept the fact; secondly, the phase to decide what to do next; thirdly, the stage to follow the treatment and believing in god is what we essentially rely on. Cancer is like a life sentence that everyone fears of. While it's heartache for the loved ones to accept, it's even harder for the patient to face it alone. My mil has been on a rigid diet that she chose to change and take. For this, she should be encouraged and complimented for having the strong discipline to eat right. Recently, she went for another scan upon her own request and the specialist who is seeing her has been very kind to allow her for the scan. The results are somewhat demotivating but they are not conclusive. A few new tiny spots have been seen at the lymph nodes and it's common for breast cancer patients. My mil has been prescribed with an oral medication and she is to take this at home until next year. The fighting spirit is still there, we pray and leave everything to the Creator for the reason that He knows best for all of us. At the end of the day, life is so fragile and unpredictable. If we are given the options to live, please be happy and cut off the toxic in our life. They are just not worth every second we dwell on. It's better for us to spend time on those we truly love.

Missing my Starbucks fix

Ever since my sad episode of gastritis on the New Year's Day, I have been trying my best to avoid coffee or any food that contains caffeine. But I still can't resist my all-time-favourite, black tea which has stronger caffeine than coffee. I was surprised that my stomach can take it without any problem. Apparently, true that tea leaves contains higher caffeine but it depends on how the drinks is prepared. Tea is mostly diluted, so less caffeinated it becomes. However, I also miss my Starbucks fix though. Vincent Tan makes a lot of money of me, hubby used to tease me. Past one week after I stopped visiting Starbucks, we walked past the outlet and Xuan suggested we buy a cup of Frappucino. He said, mummy, let's go to Starbucks, I want to "chia" (buy) you a drink. Looking at my watch, it was already past 5pm. So I have to say no to him. Yesterday, we made our first visit to the outlet in 2016. I wanted to see if my stomach can tolerate coffee. Sadly, I felt nauseated after I made my order. My children finished up the drinks all by themselves with me taking a few sips. After that, I kept burping. I think I can't have coffee yet. 

The biggest scare

My life in the past few days was really a horrible experience. It was the biggest fear I thought I might probably suffer some chronic illnesses. It began last Tuesday after I had a cup of white coffee. My work has been quite light these days because many are still on their annual leave. On that day, I took my sweet time to have some heavy breakfast, followed by a cup of coffee. I have long known that my body is deficient in digesting dairy and lactose. I would have some burping or probably loose stool, that's all, the effects wouldn't last long and not bad. Whatever happened after that cup of coffee was too much for me to forget. I felt nauseated and have been burping excessively. Thinking that my body was too heaty and I was gonna fall sick, I hung on and waited. The next day, it did not get better, I still went to have McD which came with a glass of coke. Since then, I burped even more like nonstop, stomach discomfort, sleepless nights and the list went on. I promised myself that I should go and check it out on the Saturday after the new year. Since the new year fell on Friday, many medical consultants were on leave including the gastroenterologists I'm familiar with, who attended my parents. I picked one who was available and totally new to me. Later, I found him quite kind. He commented that I have gastritis and was gonna prescribe me some medicine. He would be happy if I were to have endoscopy because he would make more money but I did not need it now for my condition. I, however, turned him down and insisted to have the procedure done. I was glad and relieved that the results showed nothing but a very sensitive stomach. I have to be more mindful and careful of what I'm gonna eat next time. The experience was like a roller coaster, I felt like stepping into and came out from the gate to hell. Now I'm back into a good shape. Still with some burping which is ugly and I cannot totally get rid of but I feel so so so much better. Because of that, I swear that I'm going to celebrate this great news by having some thanksgivings!! 

Under the weather

I'm having the toughest time of my life this year that we have been sick, one after another for almost two weeks. It started with Cheng for his prolonged fever, it came on and off until the 3rd day of his fever, we waited no further and took him to the paed. The paed is a doctor who pro-natural remedies, her advice was for us to wait and let his body fight off the viral fever. It is like a package, when the fever subsides, there comes the cough. So true enough, Cheng had some cough after his fever subsided. When he fully recovered, it was Xuan's turn. I thought the whole episode has ended but Xuan started to develop some fever again yesterday and the temperature never comes down. His body was still warm but sweating a lot when I sent him to the nanny this morning. I hope he will be all good when I see him later, my worry is nothing but dengue. In between, hubby and I were down with fever too, he collapsed last week while I was busy with my editorial work. He was basically sleeping the whole day, leaving the two active kids at the living hall. When I came home, my house was in a total mess. Poor thing. The virus is too strong that even hubby is not fully recovered yet although it has been a week. He left on a plane with feverish body last Saturday. So I'm fighting alone with the kids. Please get well soon, everyone. We deserve to have a holiday after this sickly episode.

Being feverish

My body began to feel cold last night. After picking the kids from my bro, I nursed Cheng all the way home. Cheng said, "hot, hot, why?" He was asking why my milk was warm. Then, Xuan got curious and wanted to try some too. I let him suckle for a while, just so that they knew I was feverish. That night, I was sleeping all alone with hubby looking after the duo in the other room. They were behaving perfectly good with Cheng waking up once. It's hard to train him to sleep thru the night. Anyway, hadn't hubby looked after them last night, I would have been on mc today. A big thanks to him! On another note, I think I have to change the fengshui of this house. I feel myself falling sick too frequently after we moved in.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Last night, we were at a Chinese medical shop nearby to buy some nourishment soup. I grew up in a family where traditional herbs is very very rare, I was simply amazed by the way I was diagnosed. Firstly, the lady asked me what I was looking for and proceeded me to the man standing next to her. I guess that is her hubby. He checked my pulses, both left and right in about one minute and concluded that I'm all good with some minor backache. I was really impressed, I have not told anyone about my backache at all. It comes and goes so I'm not bothered. I only feel that when I'm nursing Cheng in the lying down position. How did he know that my back "qi" is weak? This is just so amazing. The fact that I'm going thru a miscarriage now, I thought I should have some mini confinement while I'm on mc next week. The practitioner's answer surprised me and I was happy for it. I do not need a confinement or mini confinement at all. He asked me to complete a two-day course of 生化汤 to expel the remaining "dirty blood" and I'm all good to go. Now, I have been thinking of going back to my office because I'm all good and fit to go. 5 days-mc is too long and I should have used it to go on a trip.

Oral ulcers

I used to get oral ulcers very often, until I was at my wit's end and worried sick that I probably had a high tendency of getting oral cancer. Then I found that I did not have ulcers at all throughout my pregnancies. So it could be due to the multivitamin that I had been taking diligently, my body lacked of some minerals that I did not get from my diet so I had to rely on the supplementary food. So the ulcers came back when I stopped the vitamin intake. I have to remind myself to take it more frequently. These days, I have got one and it's so painful. Even I make taking multivitamin a routine, I still can't avoid getting ulcer. Thanks to my sons who are so active and restless. They bump their heads into my lips and that's how I get the ulcers.

Juicing

Ever since my mil was diagnosed with cancer and started her treatment, she has been practicing healthy lifestyle including healthy diet. She used to be a person of no fruit because fruits was cold and would cause wind in the body. To make her accept fruits and greens was not an easy job. My sil and bil have been persuading and advising her. Lucky enough, she took the advice and started the diet steps by steps. Since then, making whole grain meal and juicing have been her routine and whenever I'm around, I will have to gulp down all this too, because she makes that for me. Although I'm a big fan of greens, I do not really have liking towards coriander and celery. But I must say that the juice she makes is just so wonderful, even it has some taste of coriander or celery. I love all the juices that she makes, whether it's oranges, beetroot, guava or anything that I can name it. My mil has mastered the skills of juicing and it's an excellent work. But if I'm made to juice that myself, it's almost impossible because I do not like the washing part - a normal juicer has so many parts to wash, what more a slow juicer.

Dental care

I'm kind of ashamed to put it here but I can't contain my happiness. It had been more than 3 years since my last visit to the dentist. I had been procrastinating due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, yes, too many excuses. Today, I finally braved myself to go for check up at a dental clinic nearby and I'm happy with the results. The dentist did a perfect job for scaling and polishing my teeth, although it bled, I'm just too happy today.

Life is full of challenges

Six months ago, my mil was diagnosed with breast cancer. Everything took a sudden change ever since the news hit us. My sil took her to hospital and she went for surgery few days later. It was indeed a very fast decision made. Since she was the caregiver of my kids, I got my mum to help us instead. My mil, on the other hand, started her full regime of therapy. I must give credits to sil who has been a very committed daughter taking the mum from check up to finding support. I must also say the sibling support in this family has been overwhelming and I'm truly glad and inspired to see this. The chemotherapy sessions started two months later and today is the last day for mil having her radiotherapy. She has been the happiest woman on earth due to her scan results and the doctor has prescribed her a medicine that will probably cost us a bomb in private. I must say a big thank you to the medical team in institut kanser negara for such a great work done. Just a few days ago, my hubby who accompanied the mum at the hospital got invited for a light breakfast at the cafe. It was a thanksgiving meal hosted by an uncle who is also a cancer patient. That day was his last few sessions of treatment. My hubby said the whole environment at the hospital has been very encouraging as the patients who undergo treatment are supporting, although they do not know each other. Cancer is a word that many people are scared of including myself. It is a taboo and more like a death sentence that we know it has become so common but praying hard that we won't get it at all. After being thru this, I will reintroduce myself to it and its seeking-recovery treatment as a very very long journey towards its recovery. We have been thru so much hard time, from denial, accepting the fact to surrendering ourselves to the merciful god. From the early days when we had only fear and tears, my mil has been the strongest woman who despite us all supporting her, has got the courage to pick herself up, face it and go thru this. I wish her nothing but the best of health.

On a side note, I would like to extend my deepest condolences to a friend of mine who has lost her father last night. This came as a shocking news for her who has just arrived in Cairo to meet her hubby. I hope she has got the courage to face this very difficult time.

Xuan, his cough and me

I stumbled on a post on the Internet about keeping ourselves healthy. It says one of the symptoms for cancer is not getting sick for a long period of time. I have yet to find out if this is true, I hope it is just a myth. Touchwood, I'm one of those who hardly fall sick because before I can feel the fever is knocking on my door, I gulp down a lot of water, I think this has been working so far. One day, I'm going to write about the importance of water though hubby claimed that I'm a camel who doesn't take water as much as him. The last time I fell sick was the dengue fever, if this counts, it wasn't too long anyway. Now xuan has got a bad cough- he starts to have a lot of junks which chocolate is one of his favorites and doesn't drink enough water when he is with us. I was expecting he would have caught a cold or cough after he came back from Korea due to the drastic weather change and lesser water intake. He was fine until today when mil is around for the radiotherapy. Mil has been here with us since three weeks ago and has been keeping herself away from the people to avoid contacts with those who are sick. Now that we have one at home, I hope both of them will be fine soon.

Me on the other hand has got bad itchy skin, all over my body. I thought it was again due to the weather change from our trip. But it has been a month. So I guess it must be something else. Hubby said I have been having itchy skin since dengue. I think it's not that bad. It is after our trip that my whole body started getting itchy and I feel myself so gross scratching like a monkey. I never know I have sensitive skin or allergy due to something I have yet to find out, perhaps I really do.

Arghh, I'm such a drama queen.

suddenly shrinking

I'm feeling sad that I have lost so much weight and most of my clothes has become big and loose. I went for shopping with my girl friend yesterday and had chanced upon a few pairs of jeans that I thought I would like to try. I got a shock in my life that I have to pick those jeans with size 23. If it wasn't my weigh that has been consistent, I would have seriously thought I have got some chronic illnesses. Enough said about being envious of me for having an ideal weight, that's not something I'm always proud of when the clothes I like always seems too baggy. I need some pills which will make me like the hulk, maybe.