Weekend at Putrajaya

So glad that life is back to normal, after 2-years plus of mco. Visiting friends’ open houses over the weekend, it was so exciting meeting old friends. Raya is back with its joyful memories. Hubs was supposed to meet his German colleague, but change of plan at the very last minute so we ended up trying wall climbing at Putrajaya. Not the first time for the kids, so it was easy for them to do the climbs. But it was my first time though, I felt heavy. 

 

mba journey...

Feeling all emotional reminiscing this beautiful journey with a bunch of beautiful friends. A lot of blood, sweats and tears, but I guess it is all worth it. 

Remembering Azi

I woke up this morning and saw a WhatsApp message from a friend that Azi has passed on after a year plus of fighting against cancer. I feel so heartbroken for the loss. She is such a dear friend close to me. Reminiscing our time together when we were both at mof, went on work trips and took a spa together at the hotel, we had so many beautiful memories at mof. Life is indeed full of ups and downs. When my late mil was admitted to IKN, Azi was the timbalan pengarah and I went to see to her a few times. While I empathized the pain she went through, Azi never gave up but putting on a good fight. She always shared updates about her health conditions pre and post-treatments. Azi was just a jovial and positive person that we felt loved with her around. May Azi’s family have the patience to face this difficult time. May Azi’s soul Rest In Peace. She will be dearly missed…

Heartbroken

I’m feeling heartbroken and yet still shaken by the news of my sidangmate who lost her battle with cancer. I haven’t met her for quite some time. I still remember the last time I saw her was about 2-3 years ago, somewhere at Ayer 8. While I feel so much in pain of losing her as we went thru the 6-months course together, the pain that her family goes thru is so much beyond endurance. I hope they have the courage and patience to go thru this trying time. May her soul Rest In Peace, she will definitely be dearly missed by all of us. 

A friend of mine

It is with a heavy heart that I’m writing this post to cheer on a friend who has been fighting her own battle. I’m feeling terribly sad and disturbed knowing her condition which has got worse recently. 

She was my counterpart when we were both senior assistant directors. Although she left mof and we hardly meet, our friendship grows that we always share pics and keep each other updated. 

No words can describe the pain and misery she is going through right now. I hope she could have more patience and courage to face this challenging time. Also, pls keep her in your prayers, hoping for her to recover soon and be happy.

Assessment

I was supposed to attend an assessment program last July. However, I couldn’t make it due to papa’s passing, one day before the program started. It was so considerate and thoughtful of the agency in charge to rope me in the following batch in August without me asking for it. The 3-day course was not really stressful. Instead I was so happy meeting old friends, a mini reunion for all of us. The content itself was manageable but I did not know what expectation I should seek for from the panels. That’s what upset me the most. I wasn’t hopeful after the program because some of the panels I met were provocative. I thought I would fail miserably because everyone at work knew I don’t like to talk. And public speaking and presentation is not my forte. At this juncture, I just do not know what I’m good at. But I’m grateful for the results I got. At least it’s a great relief for me.

Missed the assessment in July but fated to be in the same group with this bunch of ladies in August. I'm blessed for the beautiful friendships we have!

study leave

It’s been 3 weeks since I start my study leave. It couldn’t be better honestly as I’m totally enjoying every moment of it. So grateful that I’m given this opportunity to take a break from work and go back to university to refresh my mind as a student. Assignments are a lot but nothing compared to the heavy workload and papers I did before I went off on my study leave. But the stress is still very different. On the last day at office, I still worked till late night and even attended a meeting with the minister. So thankful for the priceless experiences I gained at office. Nearly 14 years of experiences at MOF, a place where I began my career and it shaped me for whom I’m today. Now my new chapter began. I can’t thank my friends enough for the tips given. Thanks to hubby and family too for the support and patience because months ahead I’m gonna work a lot on the assignments.

Langkawi

I went on a girls trip with my officemates over the weekend, leaving behind the children with hubby. I’m always proud of him because he handles the kids well, even better than me. While I complain how stressful it is whenever he is away for business trips, there is no single rant I hear from him after I get home, only to see how well he takes care of them that, he can cook 3 meals a day for the kids which I don’t do that at all. The last time I went to Langkawi was 5 years ago when we went to UUM for my sister’s convocation. We then made a de tour to Langkawi. Now the island has changed so much that I think I should take the kids back here again. But they seem to fall in love with Bali more, not for the island itself but for Hard Rock Hotel that they love to stay. Holiday with family is so far away. The next school break will be this March.

Friends in the service! Bumped into Ayu in the island and had laksa together, what a small world hehe...

Having seafood dinner together

New Year 2019

Kicking off 2019 with something good and positive is generally what everyone aims to have, technically the first post of 2019 is meant for something positive too. But I have forgotten how I got it started, just another new year perhaps. I have hoped to enrol myself in yoga class and even have some vigorous exercise for 2018, but it didn’t get materialised. But at least I went swimming with Ayu once in a while. For 2019, I’m not going to have the same resolution anymore because I’m just simply lazy as such. If I must say, it must be I have read a few good books online, I feel content.

Back at work, my office had some internal reshuffle at a very large scale that I’m leaving this desk of 6 years. A desk since 2013, even before the arrival of Cheng. A place with good fengshui I must say that blessed me along journey and watched me grow. There are always ups and downs in life that serve us a lesson, we learn and we grow.

Positive values

I attended a townhall session held by one of the agencies and one of the messages sent by the no 1 person in the administration was upholding the positive values. I totally and fully agree with the statement but can’t help thinking it’s not an easy task. It probably has to do with family upbringing but somehow along the way, the values might change due to peer pressure or experiences one is facing, we can’t tell. Just like common sense, integrity lies within ourselves and we can’t force it. It’s to do with our clear conscience that we have to feel the responsibility or feel free of guilt so we do the right thing. It’s also probably the god-fearing factor that we aim to have peace of mind. Recently, I experienced a few that I couldn’t bring myself to understand the whole situations. And it has all to do with honesty. Anyway, nation building has never been easy, it comes from family and self discipline that we uphold, then the society who shapes it better. Nevertheless we must always remind ourselves to do things morally and ethically right.

Paris after 5 years!!

It's a mixture of feelings coming to Paris! It has been 5 years since we last came here! Xuan was merely one year old back then and today our not-so-small family has grown to 5! We were relieved that the kids were behaved throughout the flights, even baby XY! Her first trip ever in Europe and we both agreed that we can take her out more often in future because she has been excited, although she refused to sleep. Looking at her sleeping in bassinet, hubby was beaming with joy that it felt like yesterday when Xuan was sleeping inside, then Cheng and now XY! Traveling with kids makes us become more approachable that strangers tend to start a conversation with us. So we were told to treasure these moments more when the kids want us so much, before they lock themselves in the room to play games or chat with friends. Time really flies and those parents miss those moments! Tell me about it right, I get annoyed when my kids keep asking and looking for me. But they grow up so fast. We even feel that XY has grown up overnight in this 14-15 hours of journey.

I have been sharing with my friends that the most favourable season I wished to travel in Europe was between September and October where the weather is getting chilly and we are not required to layer ourselves up. I have OCD for packing my luggage and can't seem to bring everything. But my job doesn't allow me to take leave for holiday during the period so I have never been away. This year I read that autumn came early, I thought the weather would be very cold when it was my turn to fly. So I got the kids some thermal wear prior to our departure. Surprisingly, it's not!! The weather here is just so lovely that we only put on a thin jacket when we are out. But kids being kids, Cheng thought it would snow later and hoped he got to feel the snow again. My friend who resides in Paris told us that it has got warmer these days before our arrival. I guess we are just so lucky! Xuan has been collecting dried maple leaves on the street and this reminds me of my mum. Exactly 10 years ago, she was excited to see those leaves in Frankfurt and picked some to bring home to show my younger brothers and sisters!

See, aren't we all growing older and wiser! And one of the signs of getting older is picking up a jetlag easily!

Mini reunion with friends in Paris. All are my batchmates and our children, minus XY! So kind of you guys for having us, and even called for UBER for us, what a memory since we missed the train, haha!

Office's family day

It has been nearly 12 years here but I wasn't active at all to join my office's events. This time I was excited and adamant to take the kids to our family's day. It was because they have a lot of bouncy castles and I know the boys love it most! True enough, they had so much fun! Every game required them to queue and so did the food counters. We stayed till the end because hubby thought the grand prize of a motorbike was waiting for him. He did not get to ride the bike home. But I think our Saturday was well spent because we did not sweat buckets while the kids had fun. 

mummy at work

I'm so pissed at a job received last minute when I have to work over the weekend. It is not something new, I always work late for this. But this time it comes too late. As a result, I asked hubby to look after the kids and I hid myself in the room to finish the paper. Very late at night, Cheng and XY started looking for me to tuck them into bed. Hubby was still there soothing them. I guess I'm just so lucky to oversee this portfolio where working over weekend is just so common. Yet, people still have the perception that the civil service is relaxing, blah blah blah. The truth is, we do not go on to tell the whole world that we are overloaded. And it always takes up the family time. But this is how it is that we work and contribute to the nation. One day when I'm gone, I want my kids to remember that whatever we do, giving back to the community, be it in any form, is the key principle of life that everyone should have. We vow to make this world a better place to live!!

Visiting my ex-boss

Yesterday, I paid my last visit to the late wife of an ex-boss who lost the battle against cancer. It had been exactly 3 years that she was fighting the battle with the family. My boss, a very kind soul, has nevertheless been a very supportive hubby and father. He has been the chef in the family since they got married. I must say men nowadays are very hands-on because they babysit the children and do house chores. While it is very disheartening to learn about the sad news, my boss got retired in October last year, it is, perhaps, also a relief for the family that she no longer had to suffer the pain. My boss, instead, asked why we looked so gloomy. Words fall short of sorrow it is for the family to lose their loved one, I'm mourning the pain with them.

29th December

Today seems to be a special day to me. I recalled the date that I finished the 10-day-course of training 11 years ago. At that time, I was still in Kluang, received the letter of posting to report duty in Putrajaya. The guy who sent me off was still a student. 11 years later, I'm still here, calmer. Life has been very very kind to us despite its fair share of ups and downs.

The kids skipped daycare for the past two days and went to office with me. The happiest boys they were, turning my room upside down. They got the teachers some coffee while picking the baby sister up yesterday. Coincidentally, their most favourite teacher who was off for a month has come back and was waiting at the gate, the boys got off the car and went to hug her. Both boys were smiling sheepishly. She must be very motherly that the boys kept repeating "I miss Teacher Cheryl" when she was off. Now that she is back, the routine will continue.

Bump-into-old-friends month

I call this month an old-friends-month. Few days ago, I took a 2 hours off from work to take XY for her 3mo's jab. I was all by myself driving the baby to the clinic. Then I bumped into my classmates whom I have not met since F5. It has been 16 years and we still recognise each other. He said I have not changed much, still remain youthful which made my day. He is still the funny classmate of mine. I was glad that we managed to catch up, had a long chat, it reminded me of our time during UPSR days.

Then I had a meeting somewhere outside my office. I ran into a few batchmates whom I have not seen for 10 years. Time hasn't really passed thru us. I have always thought that my look has changed a lot and none could barely recognise me. But they did. One of them was my tok sidang in those trainee days and he was really a helpful one.

Also, in conjuction with the winter solstice day, I received greetings from my coursemate whom we hardly keep in touch. From there, we exchanged text and updated each other about our life. I feel at peace to talk to her again after so many years.

2016 is going to end. I am humbled to meet my friends again. It is nevertheless a year full of happy moments.

Breaking news on the passing of ex-boss

I woke up to a piece of sad news that my ex-boss who has been a great guru and now based in ikwas has passed away due to leukemia. He was such a kind soul who taught me from zero to who I'm today. He was so meticulous that I became scared of making mistakes when it came to his papers. But I guess he also had some softspots for me that he had never raised his voice when he talked to me. Instead he would guide me on the things I did. Sometimes, he would still call me to get some information for his work purpose. I have never failed him though, I truly hope I did not. Now that he is gone, may the family have patience and courage to bear the loss. Remembering the late En Azani...

Battling the cough

My body is at its weakest point right now when I have a horrible cough. It could have been something else worse, probably. But as of now, I say this cough is torturing myself. Each time I clear my throat, I feel the pain in my chest. It begins since last weekend, is at its peak yesterday and today it has got much better. I hope I will be all good next week. I still try my best to let it self-cure, although I'm at the verge of asking hubby to send me to the clinic nearby and get some coughing syrup. The thought of having not enough cash till the rest of the month stops me. Today I was at my good friend's open house to celebrate the raya, it's going to end soon. We haven't had the chance to meet each other for so long although we are at putrajaya. It was a wonderful session catching up with them. Love the playroom so much.

work-related

congrats to a friend who has got his promotion. as his officemate cum batchmate, im indeed happy for him. for a while i felt we shared the same faith. mof is our posting and we are both in the same division. we used to share office room, that was in 2008 when we were in sector E. he is a good and helpful friend. but he also can be very quiet and reserved when it comes to work which sometimes i get mad at him. but i dun blame him, it is the background he came from and the experiences he faced that made him over protective and defensive of himself. not many ppl know that he is also hubby's senior in high school. today, he got new posting in moh and will be leaving us soon. somewhat, i envy him and other friends who get to transfer out from their workplace to a totally new environment. for once i used to have this opportunity but the decision was withdrawn by the management when i was on leave. i have no idea why i was denied transfer but positively thinking, i felt appreciated. i was still  upset deep down but managed to calm myself cuz the breaking news was before my delivery which i had yet to start the 3 months maternity leave. now that my leave is going to end and im going back to work, the feeling comes back and it gets stronger. i will pretend nothing happened but the answer im seeking will forever remain unaswered. anyway, back to this friend of mine, whatever it is, wherever we are, i sincerely wish him all the best.

a friend, in remembrance

The day suddenly turned gloomy. My heart sank deep down when i read siti's text that our batchmate, wan was killed in a road accident in terengganu last nite. Trembling in shock, i felt sad that i have lost this friend forever. Wan was an attache in pakistan and came back to msia for a holiday break. Just last nite, i logged on to fb and saw his status update about going back to his hometown. This friend who had a legal background used to be my sidang-mate and btn groupmate. I admired him for having a great vision towards the people of this country, i like his courage for standing up in every heated argument to voice out his opinions. There was once i sat beside him during btn and he shared his points of view on life which were funny but very true. He even told me that his wife was pregnant and that he planned to name after their baby 'morning dew', which is nada in arabic if they got a baby gal. Truthfully, the wife gave birth to a baby gal few weeks later and she was named nada. I heard nada has a younger brother/sister and he/she might be just a few-months old.

May god bless you and family during this time and always. I believe He has the best plan for all of us. Be strong.