2020-你过得怎么样？

最近常抱怨日子过得不尽如人意，总是莫名的伤感，心情久久不能平静。人，就是这么矛盾。

11年迟来的礼物。芯亦也很喜欢。而我，只想刷个存在感。

Depression

I suspect I’m in the brink of depression, having no motivation and passion in life. I also feel myself losing interest or purpose in many things and only hope people to see the less of me. Slowly I get worried, having no mood to do things is not healthy. I want to reconnect myself with friends whom I haven’t met for a long time. I want to find joy in things I enjoy doing. I guess this cmco is driving us crazy. 

Drama queen

I was down with low-grade fever yesterday due to food poisoning. I did not know how I got it but I had peaches and avocados followed by fried rice prepared by hubby the night before. Or maybe I had too much durians from the jamuan raya I attended causing my body heaty. I threw up a few times too but it wasn't as awful as I had experienced last time but I knew I was going to fall sick. As usual, I'm always a drama queen so the whole world has to know that I fall sick. I told my siblings and hubby that I was dying, nobody took it seriously except hubby who felt guilty he should have worked from home instead. Today I'm all good and back at work again.

一辈子

曾经读过一篇短文，说着的就是一辈子的事。

一辈子很长，一辈子也很短。

因为一辈子太长，所以没办法将就。

因为一辈子太短，可能连一件事也办不完。

所以说，人生一直以来都是很矛盾的🤣🤣🤣

Can you smell autumn

so the social media is flooded with a lot of beautiful pics that autumn is coming since last week!! Holiday season soon, someone is gonna travel far! While September had been a very eventful month with some holiday breaks and birthday celebrations in sober mood, a major thing in life that we couldn’t avoid as we lost our loved one, so October please continue to be kind to all of us. My work has mellowed down a bit hoping that there is no more big amendment after this. I’m also hoping that the peak season has since passed but it’s not really over yet.

废话

Hubby is a cool guy that he hardly tells jokes. I like to pull his legs and make him into believing the silly things I say. Despite being very kayu, he is very patient with us when he is in good mood. I got scolded a few times for biting his cheeks. I got scolded once by my sis for biting her dotter. I just can’t help it. I still bite my kids and they allow me to. But we just learn not to challenge or disturb him when he is bogged down with work, trying to meet many deadlines. Since it’s World Cup season now and I’m the only early riser at home, he likes to ask me the results of each matches every morning which I struggle to find online. I’m always confused due to the time difference, so I turn to my siblings for help. Last night, the team he supported got kicked out. He didn’t feel disappointed because he is just not a hardcore fan. So today I asked him which team he is going to support tonight. I guess he won’t tell me his pick because I confess that I don’t know which team I should support as I have never been to Croatia. Needless to say I got a death stare for sure. But oh well...... who cares?

六月，你好！

时间飞逝，我真的不认老也不行了。对着镜子，拔一下头发，天啊，竟然长了很白发，而且还是很多根。2018已快过了一大半，尽管国民做了大改变，我的生活还是一样平淡如水，像一潭死水。我还是一样痴心妄想，想要去一个没有到过的地方。芯亦就是不一样，那小妞已经好几次弄断了我的眼镜。好在她也不是唯一一个，我的每个孩子都有一样的故事，所以我紧记教训，不买贵的。话说不贵，可是也要三四百令吉，很心痛！

Long wishlist

I have been having a long wishlist on places I want to go in Europe which are the Balkan, Baltic and Spain. Going to the Balkan has been a hit these years, and I hope the connectivity from here to those places is getting better. I was introduced to tourism in the Balkan back in 2007 while we were on the flight to Europe in our national carrier. At that time, I was amazed by the scenery the magazine showed, and a lady who sat beside me was from Croatia and welcomed us to her country because she said Croatia is very beautiful, besides their football team. It’s just that with a big troop, I dont know when I have the chance to explore. The other day I came across an interview with a celebrity who took her family on a vacation for 3 weeks in Europe, I was taken by surprise that she was most impressed by Portugal out of so many places that she went. Portugal has indeed taken me by surprise too, in so many ways, it’s so unassumingly beautiful that after we got back from there, hubby said we should explore Spain because they both, geographically located in the Southern Europe, should share the same culture. But life is a dilemma of choices that makes it more beautiful and meaningful!

personal shopper

I did not tell the world that I was going to Paris, the city of love or a shopping heaven for luxury stuffs. But I made offers to some close friends if they wanted to get some designer items because women just can’t resist it. Now that I have paid so much airport taxes for the tickets which I myself am not a shopping person, they are actually riding on me to get the things they want with the refund. I dread the moment when the credit card bill arrives and I have to ask for money. Some are kind that they offer me to keep the refund, again as a friend, how could I do that? It saddens me that while I value the friendship hence the offer to buy for them, some can be so calculative by paying me the exact amount downright to each single sen. Money does matter. Some thought they should just pay me by following the exchange rate they see in the internet, forgetting that transaction via credit card is higher. While I didn’t make a single sen out of the deal, I took some time off to get the things they wanted which at the same time I sacrificed my time with family to explore the cities. I spent on public transport for my family and to make things worse, my credit card got blocked so I had to make a call to ask the bank to unblock. I can’t help thinking that why some can be so hard on me. So I understand why my sis only opted to buy for her really close friends during her flying days because some people have no common sense as such.

Well just a rant!!

Birkenstock

I have forgotten how I used to be shoe lover so so so much that I would buy many pairs in just a one-day shopping. I definitely have become a wise shopper after the arrivals of my children. My sis then introduced Birkenstock to us and I think it's the best sandals that I have ever come across, except the fact that it gets dirty too easily. So I stopped buying sandals from the malls and have been wearing Birkenstock for years. I absolutely have been a very loyal supporter of the German brand although I look very sloppy in them. However, my recent trip to Bangkok has certainly changed my mind towards the sandals. I was wearing them throughout my trip and I began to feel sticky on my soles. I then came home to give the sandals a bath although I have been advised against it. The sandals look whiter and cleaner but the feel is no longer the same. I feel the shoe bed has become rougher. Yet I still feel sad to part way with it. I think I'm gonna try another model one day. Same brand. Still.

布拉格

前阵子有人偶然提起这古老的城市, 不是怀念那地方的景色, 却想念街角一间平凡又不起眼的咖啡厅。那猪扒衬当时的天气, 天衣无缝, 的确值得怀念。很巧的, 有对明星也从那里稍来喜讯, 那婚纱照拍得随性, 又自然, 真是羡煞旁人。事实上, 隔了整整4年, 从没想过会重游这地方, 然而对它却记忆犹新, 当时的天气超好, 蹲坐在路边为炫喝奶仿佛是昨天的事, 今天我这儿子做了大哥, 上了幼儿园。时间过得真快。。。

If we were jobless

Being grateful is a vital discipline in my life, I live with it and constantly remind myself to be grateful and thankful for the people I have met and meet, except toxic people which I have totally eliminated!

Months ago, there was a resident association meeting at our area and many have attended the meeting. As usual, none was interested to run for its president. The emcee, while trying to encourage the participants, has tried many ways including reason out why we have to have an active association. 

We have some who carry the title of Datuk. Well, they are not interested either. My neighbour who was the president of the previous year surrendered too as he cannot commit himself into it. 

A man came out and proposed some high-ranking people in their organization which he said, it's good to have these people in the team. I was trying to brain that. He is correct in some ways, perhaps. But I always have this thought, what would I be without my title or job one day? The answer would be, I'm close to nothing except I still have my loved ones! 

As a spin-off from that, I just believe in the art of giving... 

不要打扰别人的幸福

多年前在网络上看过这篇文章，觉得很有意思。于是常常提醒自己说话谨慎，没有必要在别人开心或幸福时，打扰他们。

幸福可以很简单，别人的幸福可能来自满桌的山珍海味，而我的幸福可以只是一杯小小的Teh O Peng。有些风凉话像冷水般沷在身上，听了不是一番滋味，孰不知幸福的定义不一样，没有必要和他人比较，更没有必要遮掩人家华丽的光环。

前辈的一句话，我一直记着，人生就像转动着的摩天轮，有时候低落，有时候高峰。我们不会一直处于高峰，更不会永远困在低潮中。

愿大家共勉之。

我难过

心里有一丝丝说不出的惆怅. 为了一段不关己, 却又逝去的爱情难过, 只是那伤感比我想像中呆了很久, 挥之不去... 这世间的感情也太复杂了... 我在这一刻想起它, 那一份哀伤却是装着对他们的祝福...

Spring is here

Saw this on my news-feed over the weekend and people are overjoyed with its arrival. Me too, for whatever reason it could be!! Let's welcome the season with some freshness...

One Sunday morning

Decided to make root beer float this morning. So the float is for us and ice cream is for them. A peaceful morning we have.

Have a big heart

I was browsing on my fb and saw a widely shared post that some myvi owners have been suffering from road bully after the myvi-pajero fatal accident last week. While the bullies have no right to vandalize others, what irks me is statements by some ignorant people like, luckily I do not drive a myvi or luckily I have sold mine. Seriously, this statement is totally uncalled for. If one thinks that he or she is lucky enough to not face that kind of situation, count their blessing by keeping it in their hearts. The accident could probably involve any other cars and not just myvi.

One day, I heard a conversation at my office about a lady who is expecting her second child. The conversation went like this, "oh, you are pregnant again?", "boy again? It would be good if you had a gal". The "again" although may not mean anything, is somewhat annoying to the mum. What's wrong with getting pregnant again and again? And the gender of the baby is another joke, as though the parents can decide on it. I think we have to be more sensitive and nonjudgmental. If one has a good and helpful hubby, please do not tell how grateful she is to the wife whose hubby is a couch potato because we will never know their stories and what they have gone thru.

Similarly, when it comes to parenting, statements like luckily that bad situation doesn't happen to my kids is totally ignorant and not helping at all. What do I think about mum who shares her worries about parenting her kids? Aren't we all hoping for the best for our kids? I hope I have been kind enough to lend an ear to my friends. Being empathetic is not an easy task, but it also doesn't take us to be in the same shoes to exactly feel what one has to go thru. As the saying goes, if we have nothing nice to say, do not say anything. I think keeping quiet is the best solution.

那个她

那一次在前往梅尔斯堡的巴士上遇见了她。她说她是个失婚妇, 刚从一个20年又不幸福的婚姻走出来。我们不认识, 她略懂几句简单的英语，一看见我们是黄皮肤， 又会说中文，很兴奋。她细说这20年来的故事，在上海的家乡恋上一个来自香港的离婚男，然后受到父母极力反对，一气之下把自己远嫁台湾。这一气竟是20年，好长好长。孩子长大了，才提起勇气找寻自己的幸福。年老的双亲愧疚于她，于是资助了那趟远航。我真是佩服她一个人旅游的勇气，她却羡慕我们带着孩子出走的胆量。我们都知道那次的相遇不会有后续, 彼此没留下名字，没有电邮，也没有一起合照留念，只是她和我家小孩拍了几张照片。她说一路上遇到好多年轻的朋友，即使有言语上沟通的障碍，就是很久没有这么开心过。今天这个时候我想起曾经遇见这么一个她， 我想有时候她应该会像我这样想起她而想起我。就是路过而已..........

feeling cheated...

Yesterday I stumbled on an article about hello kitty being a lady but not a cat. I was so taken aback by the confession, I meant, seriously? Hello Kitty is a lady in her late 30s, approaching 40 this year? I feel like I got cheated for so many years, almost 20 perhaps since the day I got introduced to it. Oh hell, I hope Mickey Mouse is really a mouse and snoopy is a dog. Pls do not destroy the kid in me.

Just too clumsy...

Kate spade is having sale rite now which makes me happy and I thought of getting myself a bag- for no reason. However, the god just seemed not agreeable with my plan. I dropped my glasses in the toilet as I flushed so I do not know where my glasses have gone. All I know is I must get myself a new pair. But given the fact that I'm still a lactating mum, I will go for an eye exam but the results may not be accurate and so I will have to settle with the power of my old lens which means I have to go back to shop that I always frequent. Aikss, I hate myself for being so clumsy. I do not know how it happened, but it just happened. Duhh... But I guess everyone can have a good laugh now!!