my father

I feel the need to pen down my thoughts about him because that's how I relive my memories with him. But I'm still angered over the man who caused this, maybe he was playing phone that he hit him at that point of time. I won't know for real. He was for sure speeding while he shouldn't. Or maybe my father owed him in his past life that he gotta pay back. But this man will have to deal with the guilt forever for causing a life lost, a family that's never going to be complete. I'm beyond grateful that my father raised me up. Without him, I won't be who I'm today. He had been proud of me all the times. He promised to take me to Beijing when I scored straight As in UPSR. He didn't take me there, instead he told me to study harder so that I could fulfill the dream myself. Then I wanted to take him to Beijing in 2011 but mum underwent a surgery. So they went with my brother instead two years later. We went to Europe twice, where he always insisted to have Asian meals almost everyday. He got worried about me when my then-boyfriend called me almost every night during semester break at university. He asked my mum, what if the relationship didn't work out? My mum answered him briefly, cry lor.... He knew that I'm very kiasu. But in my defence, I'm not. I'm just determined, like him, in carrying out things I want. And I'm persistent, like him, too. My then-boyfriend is my husband now, and I could tell him that the man I chose resembles him so much that he is a family man like him. Just months ago, I shared with him that I would go on a study leave soon and I saw him beaming. I guess he had never got to worry about me. I was already imagining he would be there at my convocation ceremony for the second time. But it will never happen. None of the days goes by without me missing him. Everyone misses him. I have a regret that I could never repay him for what he had done for me and to this family. He had been working hard throughout his life and it was all about sacrifices. If he could hear me now, I wish I could tell him that I wish him all happiness and be at a better place. I want him to know that I miss him so much and I love him a lot!!