December

December is a very BUSY month. A month to celebrate my youngest brother and friends’ birthdays, some days to go for a short getaway and to go back to hometown. Although I have many deadlines to meet at work, it should be juggled because the new year is coming. While it has many public holidays and going for a getaway is very much we have been looking forward to, I’m at the verge of depression because I’m just so upset over everything that I can’t explain. I lose patience easily over the kids and feel regret after I raise my voice or lay my hands on them. I think this is getting serious that none of the day goes by without me spanking them. Before things get more serious and out of control, I confessed hubby that I would go crazy real soon. Blessing in disguise is that my parents are here again over the weekend, so we send the two boys over. My family help us look after them while we go out to wind down. Hubby has been concerned about my wellbeing and proposed to take me for a short trip. While I appreciate his efforts, I’m also struggling to tell myself to be more patient. So I spend a lot of time on the internet, browsing through a lot of things which may or may not be relevant to myself. The decoration of Christmas market caught my eyes. 10 years ago, we went for a walk at Christmas market in Frankfurt and Berlin. At that time, hubby told me that the market we went was a small one and the crowd wasn’t really there yet because it was still quite early. That, he said, we should experience a bigger and merrier Christmas market. Since it’s December now, I feel their excitement just by looking at those. Days goes by too fast that our parents grow older, the kids grow wiser.