Heartbroken

I’m lost for words to the devastating news yesterday that we lost our dear father in an accident. He just texted us that afternoon, asking us whether to buy some tropical fruits only found in Kelantan. I always like to joke with him, so I said yes in excitement, hoping that he could come to KL over the weekend and I had a plan to go hiking with him. But god has better plan for everyone of us. He was so scared of falling sick, so he got up early in the morning everyday to do quite rigorous exercise. He did twice a day, once in the morning and another in the evening. Everyday. Without fail. He found a new hobby that’s hiking a few years back and met some new friends, he was the oldest among them. Started from hiking around Kelantan, they went to Terengganu, Tahan expedition and then Kinabalu. He proudly showed us his pics being the oldest among them. Then he followed them to Everest Base Camp! I’m so happy and proud of him that despite being confined in a small town, he made new circle of friends and even planned to go Taipei for hiking this October. Then, the friends asked him to go along for another hiking trip in South Africa. I was just relieved that besides focusing on his children who are now grownups, he finally found his new passion. Occasionally the group went to small trips nearby such as Cameron Highlands. God loved him more and took him away from us. I would take time to accept this fact.

He was a man of a few words that whenever we video-called, he would pass the phone to mum. His love for us is so reserved that he wouldn’t tell us, but his actions showed it. I could never repay what he has done to us. In fact, I always say that, women marry men with shadow of their fathers. My father was a family man who liked to stay home. I’m so used to seeing him everyday after work where he came home from shop and I felt secured. My mum or the children would serve him a plate of fruits and he would start browsing internet. He just loved reading. My husband is the same. Their weekend is all for us.

We went on our first Europe trip back in 2007. Coming back from the trip, he said, he had enough of Europe and next would be USA. My brother took him on a few trips to East Asia like China and Japan. He changed his mind and always told us that, China is so big we should explore China instead.  I shared with him that Eastern Europe is indeed beautiful and he mistakenly thought I meant Balkan. Thanks to his hiking friends, he would come along with me if I go Balkan one day. So I thought next year it is that we are gonna have a self drive trip to Balkan with him. It will never come true then.

It was so tragic that I can’t believe we lost him, forever. I have been taking things for granted that I felt so grateful to have parents who are healthy at this age. But god has his arrangement for us.

I LOVE U, PA!!!