It has been a mixed feelings throughout this journey that I think only those who went thru it will truly understand. It's like a roller coaster, filled with anxiety and excitement, yet so special, to wait for the arrival of rainbow baby when the time is due. I'm feeling disturbed that people have been making guesses about the sex of baby from the shape of my bump, from the janitor to my big boss. Whether I'm having a boy or girl, I will appreciate it much that the comments are kept to themselves. My bump looks like I'm having a boy, even myself feel the same too. But no, having a boy is not a pride at all. Having gone thru two miscarriages in the past, please do not tell me that I should try for a girl. None can tell the anxiety that I have. I could have gender favouritism but the risk of the labour and health of baby is my utmost priority. I think I'm traumatised.
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